You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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