Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
