So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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