Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
