You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
