that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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