Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize