I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
