i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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