You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
