I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
