I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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