i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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