Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
