I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
