we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
