K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
