dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
