cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
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