You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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