he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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