I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
