Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
