One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
