Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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