I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
