I'm really into asian looking animals
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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