he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
