So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Randomize
