so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
