Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize