I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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