Betty ford says i'm here all night
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
