So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
