Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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