Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
