sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
