your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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