i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I love you. Go after that dick
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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