Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
