What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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