how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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