He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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