You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
