if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
