Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
