i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
time to smoke my breakfast
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
