what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
