I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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