ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
