Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
