so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
