just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Randomize
