...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
