Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
