she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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