I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
