She is in my trunk
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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