how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
