the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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