I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
