we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
