Buhtt sex?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
where does the pee come out of this thing
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
