I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
