Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
