watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize