Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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