just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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